Brenda K. Hendricks: "But what do the not-so-easily-offended people have that the rest of us seem to lack?
I can’t speak for the vast majority since I’m just learning the better way myself.
But I can share with you some of the lessons I’m putting into practice.
Years ago, there was an individual who 'rubbed' me the wrong way.
Whether deliberate or not, I can’t say. But she stung like a bee to the point of my leaving in a state of bewilderment and tears every time I was around her.
As much as I may have wanted to totally avoid her, that was not an option, so I managed to schedule our encounters as far apart as possible.
I prayed for hours, if not days, prior to the necessary meetings. Yet I still found myself incredibly hurt by her words.
I distinctly remember going to the altar one night at church, pleading with God to show me a way to forgive her and reconcile our relationship.
In the months to come, this is what He showed me:
1) Do NOT tell everyone you see about the offenses. This only fans the flames, burning the hurt deeper into your spirit.
If you must talk to someone other than God about the situation, choose one or at the most, two friends who are impartial and godly, willing to listen, but not necessarily take your side in the matter.
Again—DO NOT fan the flames by telling more than two people. The point here is the less you rehearse the incident in your mind, the quicker you will forget it.
2) Do NOT dwell on it by allowing it to play over and over in your mind like a broken record. This is a tough command, but doable.
It takes a lot of practice. Recite scripture, praise God, play music with lyrics you enjoy singing, paint a picture, write a poem…do something to swing your thoughts in a different direction.
3) DO think of something nice to say about the offender, especially after you just vented about the offense. This was a biggy for me.
It took a great deal of effort to think of something nice to say about someone who had (whom I had allowed to) put me in an emotional vice. But each time I did, it became easier to see her good qualities.
4) DO praise God for the situation.
What?
That’s right. Praise God for the situation. He is using it to create a Christlike image in you and possibly make a way for you to testify to the other person. We can be glad and rejoice it that for sure.
As I practiced these things, my relationship with this person improved.
I can now say with a true heart that I love her, she’s a wonderful person, and we are best of friends.
God is so good always, all ways.
How about you? What relationship would you like to see God change?
What steps are you willing to take to make those changes possible?"
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13 NIV)
Offense—Take It or Leave ItSee you in a twinkling, Brenda K. Hendricks
www.brendakhendricks.com/
[Used by permission and Google image added]
Biblical Virtues to pray for your kids: #10 Biblical self-esteem. "Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus" Eph. 2:10
Today’s
quote:
Our
thought for today:
Tomorrow’s
post: #1 Prayer Without Ceasing by Dr R. A. Torrey, taken from what Prayer can do, published by the REVIVAL MOVEMENT ASSOCIATION of Northern Ireland. www.revivalmovement.org
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