Faith Messages to build your faith

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Man Rules (How men think)


MAN RULES  Author Unknown (How men think!)

If you want the men's side of things, read this:

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN


FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. (I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!

OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' 
WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!


(This was shared with me, and I put it on my FB page, but believe YOU might also like to read it. It should make you laugh at some of them, they're so true!   Jean)


Let’s pray:

    Father, we see that it would be best to understand how a man thinks, in order to keep our peace.

    We may not agree with all of the above shared thoughts from a man's point of view, but we'll need help to learn from it.

   There are some good pieces of advice here, we have to admit, but maybe we need to admit that we should become more aware of just how a man thinks.

   I ask for Your help in this matter, Lord, in Your Holy Name. Amen.

Because He lives

O, dear heavenly Father,
We come boldly to Your throne,
Through the blood of Jesus
By nothing of our own.

For Jesus opened heaven's door
When He died on the cross,
And three days later rose again
So none need to be lost.

How blessed we are...He bridged the gap
Let open by man's sin.
How blessed we are...because of him
That we can enter in.

By Fran Gregory Pasch

Double Vision: Seeing God in Everyday Life
through Devotions and Poetry by 
Frances Gregory
Pasch published by Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas.
Used by permission.

Today’s Bible verse: Prov. 18:4 "The words of a man's mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook."

Today’s quote: Andrew Murray – “Prayer is not monologue, but dialogue. God’s voice in response to mine is its most essential part.”

Some thoughts today: - God expects us to guard what He has put in us. He is Faithful to share His gifts with us, but we need to ask Him what they are, and to seek wisdom and training to use them. 

-Satan wants you to lose confidence in who you are, so he can rob you of everything God's given you, and the promises that are just for you.

- Do you love doing something? It is very possible that it is evidence of a gifting He's placed in you. Allow God to blow away your past. Let him speak truth for your future. 

- You're not where you are accidentally, as God has a purpose and plan for your life. Are you part of the fabric of your local church?

20th- Easter Sunday’s post:  The Risk of Obeying God  Dr. Charles Stanley

22nd- Tuesday's post:  #77  Seeking & Knocking  C. Peter Wagner

24th- Thursday's post:  #78  Forming a Team  C. Peter Wagner

26th- Saturday's post:  I Refuse to be Discouraged!  BJ George

A popular post: Trusting God No Matter What  Sharon Jaynes - "It may not be until we cross over from the temporal to the eternal that we understand the many 'whys' of life. Until then, we must trust in the sovereignty of God."



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