I found the Valentine card I sent to her two years ago. In it, I wrote: "I have never loved you more. You never cease to amaze me, amuse me, and captivate me." (Google image, Cherish them while you can).
As the sun came up on my first Valentine's Day alone, I realized I had a choice to make. I could either spend the day mourning what I had lost - or I could celebrate the decades I had with this remarkable woman. I chose the latter. I'm glad I did.
In the months since Karen went Home, I've found myself telling my friends, "Cherish her - while you can." Like the Bible says: "Teach us to number our hearts aright that we may apply our hearts to wisdom" (Psalm 90:12). Translation: make each day count, man!
Suddenly, one May day, I had no more days to cherish the great treasure of my life. Reflecting on our years - and days - together, I found myself jotting down four questions that I'd encourage every married man to ask himself.
1. What would she say is her biggest competition for my time and my attention?
Sports? My work? Facebook? The gym? My hobby? Being with the guys? Whether or not the Mister knows what it is, you can be sure the Mrs. does.
Once you figure out the answer, then show her! That she's #1. Every time you intentionally put her ahead of her biggest competition, you are making her know how loved she is. You're cherishing her.
2. In what ways am I a better man because of her love and influence?
I've been thinking about that a lot in the past few months. I've been changed by the love of the woman I married. Most men are - in ways they may not see unless they honestly pursue this question.
My wife was the most generous person I've ever known. I was a spoiled and selfish only child. That's one of many ways God used her to make me more of a man. I'm glad I told her that. So once you've thought about how you're different because of her love, tell her!
3. What are three qualities she has that I really love and appreciate about her?
We're pretty quick to think of the things that frustrate us. We communicate those pretty well. But what about the qualities, the actions that mean a lot to you? Thank her! Let's give "flowers" before the funeral - while they can still smell them!
4. If she was suddenly gone today, what would my biggest regrets be?
Oh, I've had plenty of time to think about that one in recent months. If you think about it while she's still by your side, you can change it! It's too late to say "I wish I had" or "I wish I hadn't" at a graveside.
Sometimes it can be hard to answer questions like these. Which may indicate a deadly condition. A hardening heart. Filling up with resentment, anger, bitterness, self-pity, self justification. And more than the problems or the conflicts, it's a hard heart that kills love.
Sometimes you don't feel the love. Those are the times to say,
"God, I don't have it - but You do. You loved her enough
to die on a cross for her. So if you'll send Your love for
her through me, I'll make sure it gets delivered."
to die on a cross for her. So if you'll send Your love for
her through me, I'll make sure it gets delivered."
[Jean's note: I tried this, and it worked!]
Life's too short - and love's too precious - for a closed-up heart.
I love this hope-restoring promise from the Author of love:
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I
will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 36:26).
will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 36:26).
That "new heart" has saved many a marriage.
From my wounded heart to the heart of a guy like me out there - cherish the love of your life. There are no days to waste.
| Cherish Them . . . While You Can |
 |
| Man's hands on Bible |
Father, may we see from Your perspective, that You encourage us to choose to recall good memories we've had with a person we've lossed
through death, instead of spending
our time just mourning their passing.
through death, instead of spending
our time just mourning their passing.
May we be sure to realize the value they were to our lives; how they impacted us as an individual, and why it is we're thankful to have known them.
May we recount how we are better persons because of their influence, and that we tried to bless them by showing our appreciation in various ways.
We are encouraged to value our spouses now, while they're with us, as once they're gone, we will also have to consider the choices mentioned above.
Help me make every attempt to show love and respect now, so I won't have to regret failure to do so later.
We are encouraged to value our spouses now, while they're with us, as once they're gone, we will also have to consider the choices mentioned above.
Help me make every attempt to show love and respect now, so I won't have to regret failure to do so later.
I pray this in the name of Jesus, that He will get the glory in my attitude of gratitude. Amen.
Today's Bible verses-
(Prov. 19:21) "There are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the Lord's counsel, that will stand."
(1 John 1:9) "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear."
(Jer. 29:11) "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Today's quotes-
The act in duty is commendable yet duty implies requirement, obligation and debt . . . and duty will perform until these are satisfied . . . looking only to fulfill its own agenda . . . its obligations.
To act in love is far better, for love acts without obligation, without requirement and without debt and performs not to meet its agenda but that of another . . . not for the immediate needs, but the needs of a lifetime . . . "
Today's spotlight-
Jill Savage- Mark: Jill and I have
begun the behind-the-scenes work
for our new No More Perfect Date Night Site. This new resource–coming in late April–will allow you to invest in your marriage without hiring a sitter or leaving your house! More info to come!) One of the things we’re doing is interviewing couples, authors, specialists in marriage to provide insight, knowledge, and honest discussion about the real stuff of marriage.
The recent sermons-
CFC Potsdam church has a live service at 10 am Sunday's for shut-ins. If for some reason you can't make it to the church you usually attend, click on the above link, and still get fed!
Upcoming posts-
#121 Prayer Warfare Defeats Satan
20th- Tuesday's post by Dr. Wesley L. Duewel
#122 The Limitations of Satan
22nd- Thursday's post by Dr. Wesley L. Duewel
God's Refining Fires
24th- Saturday's post by James H. Cagle
#123 Prayer the Nemesis of Satan
27th- Tuesday's post by Dr. Wesley L. Duewel
(Click to see snippets of the 7 recent posts)
Below, you have an opportunity to leave a comment.
Or email me at jowildflowers@gmail.com
Below, you have an opportunity to leave a comment.
Or email me at jowildflowers@gmail.com
31-day Devotional
+ Jean's testimony
[Maybe just choose a title each
day that interests you]
Sample verses from p. 70, 71-
When Troubles
Come into Your Life
"When you want God to speak to him
It's best to be quiet.
As God will lead him from within
Let him be led by it.
You'll find it's awesome as you see
That God does have a way,
To inspire your man so that He
Can tell him what to say."
(Published by Lighthouse Publishing
of the Carolinas. Used by permission).
A great gift for someone who may need help
to prepare for marriage, and for those in a
marriage, wanting some helpful advice.
(Published by Lighthouse Publishing
of the Carolinas. Used by permission).
A great gift for someone who may need help
to prepare for marriage, and for those in a
marriage, wanting some helpful advice.
Thanks for a powerful writing on marriage. May God bless those seeking Him for their marital answers.
ReplyDeleteGod is so Good to share answers with us, my friend. Thank you for your faithfulness in broadcasting them to the world through your good book, We All Married Idiots"!
Delete
ReplyDeleteWe do not know the day or the hour that any of us will pass on. We need to cherish all the people in our lives and let them k.now how special each is.