Thoughts for Life: Discernment vs. Criticism Part 2

Jean Oathout continues with thoughts on Criticism today:

It is rather easy to see other people's faults and weaknesses.

Criticism, we find, can become a negative
of discernment.

That is why there is so much responsibility in moving in any of the discernments we may have.

When any part of these thoughts go to the extreme, alas, the
negative shows up as Criticism. Sometimes, things we say may
hurt people.

If you see weakness in someone's life that doesn't affect their ministry to others and the purposes of God, then just love them.

Criticism takes place when we voice our opinion in a demeaning way. Our attitude plays a large part in our sharing what we've "discerned."

When you've heard something disturbing about someone, pray for God's guidance to know if you should go to the person spoken about, to find out the truth.

If it's a lie, you may need to tract down the lie, and face the guilty one spreading the "criticism," and get the truth. Put the devil under foot!

Negative thinking and speaking does not honor God, nor edify anyone. It tends to cause us to hold something that we've discerned against someone.

We build a wall that keeps us, and them, from any hope of change. It causes a blockage to blessing, too.

Sometimes it's hard to tell which is which:

Am I hearing from the Holy Spirit, or am I simply dealing

with my not-always-kind-and-compassionate soul?

Some folks may need to be careful how they respond, when they've come out of a critical spirit themselves. We all can make a cutting comment that can hurt another person.

Think through what you're about to say, and ask yourself these questions:

Is this edifying? Will this build the person up, or will it hurt

them? Am I in a relationship with them, that I have some

authority to even say anything about what I see?

If you do, pray and ask God to give you the ability to help them
see what concerns you, and then give you a strategy to help them overcome the flaw. Matt. 18:15 {go to them in private first}.

(An example of this would be, every time you get together with a friend of yours, you find them talking badly about other people.)

You'll show your spiritual growth when you can look at someone's "flaw", and share it only with them, or who may have a specific need to know.

A good rule:

If, after you've gone to the individual involved, and they

won't hear you, go "up-line" with concerns you may have

about something. Go to your pastor, elder, husband, father,

or employer/supervisor for advice. {Refer to Matt. 18:15-17}.

It would be helpful to say:

"_______, here's something I'm sensing... I haven't

mentioned it to anyone. I wanted to bring it to you

to see if you had any recommendations. Do I simply

pray about it? Do I tell anyone? Is there any action

you think I should take?"

Leave it there, and allow the leader to "take it from there."

You've done your part.

Your having said, "I haven't mentioned it to anyone" is very

important, as otherwise, it could just become gossip. It can

also cause the person you're sharing it with to have doubts

about the person mentioned, and cause further hurt.

When we give our critical opinion to someone, there remains

an awkwardness between them and us, though forgiveness

may have taken place.

We seem to think that we'll "help" them

by calling attention to what we're noticing.

It's not a good idea, unless we're asked to give it. In other words, this is to be avoided.

What's in our hearts?

The Bible says that what's in there comes out our mouths... Luke 6:45 tells us either good or evil will come from our hearts, {depending on it's spiritual condition.}

The temptation we'll face:

What if the person doesn't think this is from God

and doesn't do anything?

How big is your God?

Trust Him to handle it, and go right on praying.

Another aspect in understanding Criticism is, when

you're the one being criticized. Examine what was said,

and find any truth in it, so you can benefit by it in some

way.

Whether the person thinks well of you, or is simply

finding fault with you, be careful not to retaliate with

harsh words.

It's difficult to take criticism humbly and graciously,

and to seek to learn something from it.

Remember: Not every negative thought is necessarily a

signal that we need to change our behavior.

A gentle and gracious answer should always be the

standard response from a child of God. Prov. 15:1

"gentle answer."

We should also consider that what we have taken as

hurtful, may not

have been intended that way at all.

Hopefully, what I've shared on the subject of Criticism, today, will help us think more seriously about criticizing others. I'm thankful for what my pastor shared with me,

as well as some helpful suggestions from friends.

I had a recent experience of receiving some critical thoughts, while reading Discernment vs. Criticism Part 1

and today's post, to my writer friends at our meeting.

I was thinking that I had done a poor job, and that I'd

have to re-write it the whole time I was reading to them!

I can now see that the evil one tried to discourage and

hinder me from using what I'd written. It must be, the Lord's

planning on using them to help His people! I trust so.

Thankfully, a friend spoke encouragement to me immediately

after the meeting, that what I'd read really helped him.

Is. 59:19b "The LORD will lift up a standard."

As a result, I'm working on another draft, scheduled for the

10th of August, called Doubt vs. Faith. I believe the Lord

wants that subject covered, too.

As some of you may have noticed, the original posting

disappeared today! Fortunately, I'd copied it into a Word

document, so I've had to recreate the entire post for you.

God is Good to have helped me in this, as I'm sure it is

and important message.

Let’s pray:

Father, it is my desire to do what is
pleasing to You. May my thoughts be
ones that honor You, as well as the
others I come in contact with each day.
I understand that what I say, as well
as what I think, does matter to You.
My words can hurt others, if spoken in
a demeaning, critical way.
I ask that You set a watch at the door of my mouth, that
I not sin. I ask this in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Today’s Bible verse: Is. 45:2a "I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight."

Today’s quote: Mary Southerland – “We live in a broken world and life is filled with pain, challenges, dark times and trials, but today can still be a day of thanksgiving and praise because praise and thanksgiving have little to do with our circumstances and everything to do with our inner attitude toward God. It really doesn’t matter how much we lose here, [my friend]. I have read the Book and we win … for all of eternity! We just need to take the time to remember … and give thanks.”

Some thoughts today: God will battle for you, until you can battle. Submit yourself to God. He will enable you to speak His truth to your lost friends.

- It's not by your might, but God's! His Spirit will move through you, and in them.

- Let this day be the answer to the crossroad of your life. Seek God, and follow what He directs.

3rd- Sunday’s post: Walking Through Dark Valleys

Charles F. Stanley

3rd- evening's post: Tenderhearted

Ginny Merritt

5th- Tuesday's post: #107 Avoid the Dangers

C. Peter Wagner

7th- Thursday's post: #108 Spiritual Dependency

C. Peter Wagner

A popular post: Thoughts and Temptations Dutch
Sheets tells us, “Considering the third aspect of stronghold,
{found in 1 Cor. 10:3-5}, the Lord tells us we can “Take
every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”