Thoughts for Life: God Sent an Angel on my Darkest Day

Kristy shares with us, "My panic
disorder was out of control for
another one of those week-long stints.

My boyfriend and I had broken up.

My landlord had sold my house.

I was house-sitting for a work-friend.

At that time, I didn’t have a faith community to lift me up.

So I was in an unfamiliar place, with no one to talk to and no work to occupy my mind.

I had been calling out to God and hearing no answer back.

If I could fall asleep, it would often wake me up.

I could hardly eat, and what I could swallow would move through too quickly.

I had dropped weight. Lack of sleep and bad nutrition only made me weaker to fight the negative thoughts that swirled around me.

One Sunday, I decided to go to the tiny church that was within walking distance on the backcountry road I called home for that month.

I describe myself as a carcass that day. I felt utterly lonely, exhausted, empty and pathetic.

I knew I was at my lowest point. How could I feel like this when I am a child of God. I’m a failure. Maybe I’ve done something wrong to deserve it?

The dimly lit sanctuary fit my mood. I wanted to slip unnoticed into a back pew and escape with minimal handshaking when it was over.

I hoped to glean a speck of wisdom and get out of there.

God had a different plan, a better one.

From the opening prayer to the final benediction, I could not stop crying.

Something unexpected happened, a three-year-old girl climbed onto my lap.

I thought it was odd that a child would approach me, a weeping stranger who looked haggard.

Her parents turned around and asked if she was bothering me. I shook my head no, unable to speak through my tears.

The toddler babbled, drew on my bulletin, and petted my hair. This tender expression did nothing to slow my tears.

I kept saying 'uh-huh' to her gibberish and tried to listen to the service. Then she looked me in the face and I heard her speak clearly.

She said, 'You’re beautiful.'

Looking back, I can see how God put that little girl on my lap to speak for him that day.

It wasn’t a cure, it didn’t fix my broken life or magically wash away my anxiety.

It was an affirmation that I was loved.

God didn’t point out all the things I’d done wrong, or how undeserving I was. He told me the truth, the opposite of what I was thinking about myself.

Those two words from the mouth of an angel-child were a shaft of light from heaven.

I keep crying out to Him and He keeps working in me.

I have had the privilege of making an angel-impact on others since then."

“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.” 1 Peter 3:8

God Sent an Angel on my Darkest Day

New post on Flying on Grace

By Kristy

Let’s pray:

Father, when we come to You, may we know full well that we have Your undivided attention. This boggles our minds, to think that the Almighty pays attention to us individually, and knows all our yesterdays, todays, as well as all our tomorrows! It will be our responsibility to ask for help that works, so You can show Yourself to be Faithful and true to Your Word. I pray that I will accept Your love, and depend upon Your guidance. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Today’s Bible verse:

Is. 59:1 "Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither is His ear heavy, that it cannot hear."

Today’s quote:

~ Germain Copeland - "It is possible to renew the mind to the Word of God. You can replace carnal thoughts of worry, fear, self-pity, and other self-defeating thoughts with peace. You can keep your mind filled with self-doubt, self-rejection and become self-absorbed--or you can become spiritually minded and change your self-image replacing negative thoughts with God's thoughts toward you. Choose to be God-inside-minded"

Our thought today:

~ God will convict us of our complaining! It usually starts with His bringing to mind what was said, and the effects of it. Each time we give an opinion/complaint about something someone has done, it will then leave us wide open for that very thing to happen to us. Remember the Scripture about our judging others?

Tomorrow’s post: Why We Need to Forgive Jean Oathout